How I survived the hurricane (Spoiler alert: It involves beer)

28 Aug

Another spoiler alert: It wasn’t much of a hurricane around these parts. It’s better to be safe than sorry, however, and with all the media hype and my proclivity to believe everything I see on TV I obviously made a Friday night stop at the grocery and liquor stores. Stop and Shop was a madhouse on Friday after work (apparently I’m not the only person in Boston who believes everything they see on TV) and I tried to make my trip as expeditious as possible.

According to the National Hurricane Center, this is what you need to survive a hurricane. As I have no infants or elderly people living at my house, I obviously chose to focus on the “snack foods” recommendation. Thanks for giving me an excuse, NHC. I stocked up on Sour Cream & Onion Baked Lay’s and (my favorite) Flavor Blasted Goldfish.

Probably the most awesome and important thing I bought at the grocery store was a 90 count bag of Totino’s Pizza Rolls. Pizza rolls are an even guiltier pleasure of mine than Flavor Blasted Goldfish. Pizza inside an egg roll wrapper? Oof. While delicious pretty much any time, they’re especially delicious at 3 a.m. when you’ve just gotten home from the bar. The dude friend and I housed a bag in this fashion a few weeks ago and in a pizza roll-induced euphoria, this is the conversation that transpired:

D: What are these called?

Me: What are what called?

D: These pizza things.

Me: Pizza rolls?

D: Right. But what’s the name name?

Me: That is the name. Pizza rolls.

D: But what if I wanted to buy them? What’s the name?

Me: Oh. Like the brand name? No idea … But they come in a yellow bag. Pizza Rolls.

D: There has to be a brand name. But anyway, I wish we had more of them.*

90 pieces of awesome.

And that’s the thing about pizza rolls. You always wish there were more of them. Lucky for all you guys, you now know the brand name and lucky for me I bought 90 of them on Friday so wishing there were more wasn’t a problem during the weekend of Irene.

The other important purchase I made with regard to hurricane survival was beer. While Stop and Shop seemed to be out of some essentials, like bottled water, Marty’s Liquors was plenty stocked up on supplies that were just as important (if not more so when you’re planning to be trapped in the house for two days). I bought some Sam Summer, which is quickly on its way out, and some Shipyard Pumpkinhead. It was kind of a bridge between the seasons, which I made sure to enjoy all weekend long.

It's that time of year again. Pumpkinhead time.

Finally, to beat the boredom of a rainy Sunday, I baked (and then ate) brownies. When the thought originally occurred to me, I was intent on making them from scratch. I figured it would take more time and they would be more delicious than anything that came out of a box. While I’m sure I was right, the thought of cleaning up several bowls/pots/pans, checking to see if I had all the appropriate ingredients at home, and paying fairly close attention to what I was doing all seemed a little bit much and I settled on a box of Duncan Hines. I figured even if the brownies came from a box, I’d still get to lick the bowl, which everyone knows is the most important part of brownie making.

mmmmm brownie batter.

All in all, I think the biggest lesson I learned this weekend was food (and beer) can help you get through anything – even a category 1 hurricane that’s downgraded to a tropical storm that’s downgraded to “you probably didn’t need to stay home drinking and eating pizza rolls all weekend.”

 

 

*To be fair to D, this is probably not the way this conversation happened. I’m sure there was a lot more incoherentness on my part. To be fair to pizza rolls though, this is the gist: they’re the best.

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One Response to “How I survived the hurricane (Spoiler alert: It involves beer)”

  1. kateshrewsday August 28, 2011 at 5:05 pm #

    I applaud your choice of survival techniques. I’m also quite relieved the hurricane turned out to be less fierce than forecast!

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